I had a fabulous time in Boston, i really wish i could have stayed longer even though deep down inside i know that if i did stay longer my body would have frozen over, 30 degree's aint nothing to fuck with...

so the story goes:
after 2 horrible plane rides i finally made it to boston, it was freezing cold but nice i guess. ronald met me up at the airport and explained the transportaion system which is pretty much amazing you can get anywhere in the entire city super quick its ridiculous. all the busses, subways and trains run perfectly its great. they sell this thing called a "charlie" card that lets you ride all public transport for free its great.

my first day with ronald we went on an unproductive search for alcohol. As we decided to travel the city i promised ronald i would find him a musiciaj friend by the end of the night since he had been completely unable to the last 3 weeks he's been there...so back to the alcohol adventure...you woudlnt believe how hardcore people in boston ID, we were completely unsuccesful so just spend the day traveling boston. we saw fenway park which is pretty sweet. we saw downtown boston. BY THE WAY THERES A DUNKIN DONUTS EVERY OTHER BLOCK IN BOSTON. Later that night melissa got out of school and met up with us she bought us booze ^_^. when we got back to ronalds house which is a beautiful 3 story house i which he lives in the attic. and we met one of ronalds room mates...i invited him over for a beer and he was totally down, he's a really cool guy and it turns out he's a MUSICIAN, a vocalist and a really good one at that. he heard ronalds music and loved it and we heard his and loved it so i really hope those two end up collaborating

we passed out later that night after eating the greatest pizza ever, BUFFALO CHICKEN PIZZA!


the next mornginn was ronalds 21st birthday, we picked up our 2 friends from the airport (kerri and bethany) they works at BGSC with us. 2 seconds into being in the airport they were already at a bar (it was 9 am) lol. not only but they got kicked out for cursing too much when they saw ronald <3

we took the train back home and had breakfast together at some bagel place, our day then consisted of exploring boston (just me and bethany) cuz ron n keerri knocked out...the city is truly beautiful the tree's change colors and there leaves all over the floor and the houses are so beautiful they look like AMERICAN houses, classic and old. the cityv has that vintage look.

we all showered and got ready for our night, that night we explored some more, we found harvard and walked aroujnd pertending to be smart....total fail. beautiiiffuulll campus btw, we stopped at a chicago style restaurant to eat which was wack. the food was ok and the service wqas prwtty weak atleast by our standards since were all servers...THERE BIRTHDAY SONG WAS RIDICULOUS, the servers all got together and sang to a kid who's birthday it was right next to us and we couldnt help but laugh we literally got up from our chairs and played our own bubba gumps birthday song.

the night was pretty much spent with us being loud around the city bof boston and almost getting run over more than once...


overall i had a good time but loved coming back to miami there truly is no city in the world like this, i dont know how i can ever move away

I just looked back at my journal and saw that i never wrote about my film set, so here goes...

Pints of Guinness....The short film was inspired by my girlfriend Amanda and the song Pints of Guinness make you stronger by Against me! I blatantly named it after the song because i wanted people to make that connection with it...

the week of the film we had alot of problems, we lost both actors...completely last minute and struggled to find some last minute actors, we did thanks to the help of Lex Lopez the greatest producer of all fucking time.

the day before the shoot i picked up all my equipment and went straight tom Lex's house to set up the house for the shoot. we redesigned her bedroom to make it look like it did in my head and i must admit it was pretty damn close, and we also made her living room look like an art gallery.

so the day of the film i was up pretty fucking early getting things ready, surprise surprise most of my crew was late and the bar owner of the bar we were shooting at was also late....my main actor was ALSO about 2 hours late maybe 3. but being ther great director i was i didn't stress i did every possible shot i could making sure we wasted no time. The reason i know that i['m a great director is because i always make sure that i used every possible second on set wisely and squeeze the best art i can out of a bad situation. i admit i stress a little on set but it's the type of stress thats completely controllable and the type of stress that gets me high.

My crew worked very effeciently throughout the day i was very proud of them and my cinematography was also impressive ( to me atleast) we'll know for sure when i get my footage back from being developed...

around the end of the shoot i was cut short about 2 hours because my actor had to leave early -_- yeah actors will be actors, so i was workign like a chicken with its head cut off but in the end i finished every major shot i needed and im pretty sure i produced a great piece, we'll see in a month or two

don't wish me luck, i don't need it. im good

Hey journal,

Long time no talk
i have a lot to say but none of the energy to say it
i Filmed my movie, and i went to one of the coldest places on earth Boston
and now im back and wenrt straight to shooting more films, so i'm officially dead tired
i'll wake up fresh and catch up though...write a nice long entry and try to catch up on some of Hugo's epic posts

So I've been stressing pretty hardcore for the past few days due to the fact that i shoot a short film this Friday. I've spent all my free time on this project perfecting as much as possible any time i could. I'm as prepared as i'll ever be but even then i still told alex yesterday "you can't ever be prepared enough for something like this because things always go wrong" about an hour after these words left my mouth i had my actor contact me and drop from the film...

what happened is he said he just realized he had to work Friday and we shoot friday....when i origianlly told my actor 3 weeks ago about the shoot day i thought he would have asked for it off...but i guess i shouldn't jump to conclusions like that without throughly breaking it down with the actor himself...

w/e

none the less i was left actor-less....3 days before shooting a film....i have never in my life felt so abandoned i guess is the word...it hurt and i was freaking out what could i possibly do now. My first bet was to change the shoot day to better fit my actors schedule but that idea came crashing down when i realized we only have the bar location for friday morning....

so we decided that we NEEDED to find a new actor, so we had to cancel the rehearsal we were planning on having for sunday night and instead soend the night trying to find a new actor...me and alex slaved over a computer for a whilleee looking up every possible actor we can find

we finally found an actor to take our old actors place, we used an actor who auditioned for the castiong of "Book of David" back when Ronald was here...he's a cool guy and if he doesn't work out i have a list of 15 other actors who e-mailed me this mornign interested in the part...

From here on out its all a waiting game to see what else can go wrong

let's hope for the best

i shoot in 4 days.....it's coming down to the wire...will it all go well...will i completely fuck everything up? i know i won't i'm a great filmmaker and i shouldn't worry cause i'm mroe prepared than just about every other filmmaker at my school for this one shoot...i really need to chill..i hope that Amanda will be able to come on set with me the day of..i could use someone to help keep me on my feet

My best friends birthday was coming soon. the days were counting down and not going up to Boston was not even an option BUT then i got the schedule for filming the student films for this quarter and it hit right when ronalds birthday was.....Not the day of...the problem wasn't that i couldn't free my schedule to go the problem was that this means i'm left with 3 weeks of not working..which means i need to save as much money as possible to be able to support mylife for 3 weeks...so wasting 200 plus bucks on a plane ticket was a hard option...i wasn't sure what to do..i didn't want to miss my best friends birthday but money is so tight...I spoke to my Amanda about it...and she didn't even say a word...she just raised her wrist and showed me her tattoo...for those who don't know her..her tattoo says

LIVE LIFE


and she's right...when i die in a few years money won't matter, the only thing that matters is the memory's you pass away with...and the memory of ronalds 21st birthday in BOSTON is one i don't want to pass up

so this morning i went on a limb and just payed for my ticket..i'm broke now but i am more excited than i've been in a LONG FUCKING TIME..

i leave the morning of November 17th and come back Thursday the 19th at about mid-day...i got the latest flight coming back possible because i know i'm gonna SHITFACED HUNGOVER....i can't wait

i wish i could stay longer but Friday i have to shoot another film so i need to be back in time for that....i feel like such a filmmaker..this is my future..traveling as much as possible and coming back the last possible second to jump back on production for a movie

It's time to step up, It's time to push my art to the next level, the level that will impress anyone within a 10 mile radius of it. ClassicoVino as a group of artist needs to stop doing this half-ass art bullshit and do big things, make stuff that gets seen by the masses

October 31st, 2 years into my slow pursuit of the silver dream

Life is good, overwhelming at times though. But i still feel like i have nothing to complain about. I have a good health, a great girlfriend, schools going well, and i have good friends, a good Job (no hours though, but i still get my bills paid....barely..but i do) i guess in the long run the only thing i can complain about is my lack of money, there's a million things i wish i could do..that i dream of doing daily but never get to accomplish because money i so tight..and when i mean tight i mean like a 9 year old girls asshole...but i guess thats my fault...:/..im bad with money..i just love to live life too much and i hate holding back just cause i dont have the money.....sdhgsjdgsjhgdshg ill write later i have to go

ha..
ha..
ha..
that's all i can say after another party filled weekend

this weekend was like most, i work my 6-12 shift and party at night. except this time the party was a kegger at Amanda's place for a friend of our's named Eddy, how akwardly looks just like a 30 year old version of me

we pretty much packed amanda's place with about 40 friends and drank miller lite all night...i also experienced my first ever kegstand...lol only a college kid could think of something like that...we also made jello shots before work for the party and i recall a few bottles of Jack making there way through that party...

after that i pretty much gave up on drinking for the weekdn...i did spend alot of time with amanda...who made me dinner and breakfast all weekend...

we finally saw PARANORMAL ACTIVITY, it was just as scary as people said...i don't usually get scared in movied but i was pretty much bitting of amanda's arm the entire way through. The thing about that novie is that you have to get into it...if you go in critique it all and refuse to just let the movie do it's job you won't be scared...you need to let this movie convince you its real, then only then will you have a great fucking time..


i also saw the invention of lying....garbage...it was like a 6th grader wrote it...predictable and not that funny at all

now for where the wild things are...i personally found it to be a drag, i thought it wasn't well put together and flowed more like a bunch of randomness but together than a film. i also believe that spike jonze is a good SHORT FILMMAKER, but when it comes to lengthy pieces he gets to caught up in his own head that people just get lost and can't understand what hes trying to say with his art....

but i did get shut up by another filmmaker friend of mine (daniel) who explained the metaphor behind every inch of the piece which does give me a new found apprciation for the piece but still leaves me uninterested in it as a whole

So we threw ronald the sickest goodbye party of all time

it was probably the single greatest event i have ever been a part of....

about 20 days ago i wrote an entry saying how bad i was gonna miss Ronald and now much he means to me, from that day foward i got together with Amanda and started work on the greatest goodbye party ever. The biggest initial problem was finding a place to hold the party...i had a big problem...i needed to find somewhere that was big enough to hold 40 people, a place were everyone can get to conviniently...especially since ronald has friends in both kendall and in downtown...and the downtown friends don't have cars to get to kendall...

so after weeks of throwing out idea's i came up with the greatest of the greats, if i was leaving miami where would i want my last party to be at...i'd want it to be somewhere important to me, something that summed up miami pretty well, and the only place that i knew did that perfectly was SHARKEY'S the bar in bayside that me n ronald probably spend 90% of our time at...

i spoke with Kristen Brewster, one of the bartenders at sharkeys and my girlfriends roommate, and she said it would be her pleasure to host the party at the bar...once a locationw as settled it was all about buying the ridiculous amount of alcohol for the night, i spent countless days convincing people to gave me money for the party, at the end of it all we collected a ridiculous 400 bucks for booze of all types, we bought over 100 beers for sure, we bought a bottle of whiskey and a bottle of baileys just to make sure we could spend the night drinking irish car bombs

the day of the party, ronald had no idea what was down and i was FREAKING OUT. i was running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I drove to ronalds hosue and stold my acoustic guitar from his house(which would later turn out to be a present i gave to ronald at the party) i picked up more money from friends the day of, once it was all collected i sent amanda and eddy gatoe a bartender from bubbas to grab all the beer and liqour....hazels brother carlos and i made a sick as banner at fed ex kinkos that said (kiss me goodbye im shitfaced).

that night we forced ronald to be the closing server so we had all the time we needed to set up the party. once we got all the beer our only problem was putting it on ice, so we snook into our job while someone distracted ronald and filled our coolers with ice and stuffed the beers in them. we headed to sharkeys and decorated it to make it look like a party. i told denisse to buy a piece of large white fabric so we can draw ronald a pirate flag which we would all end up signing as a goodbye thing. we got the fabric and brigette's boyfriend george (whos a bomb ass graffiti artist) drew up a skull and crossbones in under 5 minutes..

people started gettign to sharkeys relativeky quick....the bar went from 5 people to 40 in about 15 minutes...

once ronald got off of work we had a friend of our lead him over to the bar were ronald expected maybe 7 people at most but came to found 40 people...400 bucks of beer and enough irish car bombs to cause the downfall of a small irish town.

the night was amazing...i gave ronald the guitar as a gift, and Amanda gave both me and Ronald a 6 pack of guinness 250 (a new anniversary beer from Guinness that is only out this year) the beer was amazing and the party was just as such....

we all drank insane amounts of alcohol and the party was bumping hard all night long...i wish i could describe just how amazing the party was but i pretty much dont remember it all...i hope you guys cAN leave comments with some of the things that happened that night

by the end of the night me and alex were among the soberest of the bunch and ended up taking ronald and amanda home. a mission and a half trust me. both of them tried to fall asleep on the elevator floor on the way home...and ronald wouldn't stop calling me an asshole for taking him away from the party...amanda ended up throwing up on me...sexy i know...

the night ended beautifully though, with me and ronald sharing a toilet puking our brains out

i really don't want to go to class.

(818): Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"

(919): Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".

(480): They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."

(703): Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar

(925): He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball

(818): I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.

(207): Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man

(925): no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.

(518): my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...

gilberts 21st birthday was a real good time, although gilbert got shitfaced by about 1:30 am so the party ended quite early...If i pass out at 1:30 am on my 21st...wake me the fuck up...

the party was also the first time i spent time with Denisse, Raul and Hazel in a really long time it was like old times...it was a beautiful night

yesterday Pino and I helped amanda move in her new bed, no longer will she sleep on an air mattress we now have a real heaven like bed. The bed took two trips to get. we picked it up from Kerri's house who had it sitting in her house for months...We brought the bed over, which was pretty much a spy mission since Amanda's apartment doesn't let anyone move anything without permission so we snook everything up. we then went shopping for new pillows and sheets...We bought the softest we could find and laid in the bed for hours, if it was up to me i'd never leave that thing

today's my first day of school...i spent my first class editing ronalds music video...my eyes pretty much burn from staring at it for so long..and now my next class is film history :/..we all know what were gonna end up watching...citizen kane, bonnie and clyde, and a couple Chaplin films....fun fun fun

i'll tell you about it soon

my grades for this semester:
Computer Concepts & Applications A-
Digital Filmmaking I3.00 B
Dig. Filmmaking I Prod. Lab B
Interactive Media A
Post-Modernism and Contemp. Art A


i despise B's

my vacation.....was as exciting as a tennis match between two rocks

i pretty much sat at home the entire week. except for thursday. I headed over to Manda's place where we made a really nice dinner...breaded chicken breast over a plate of spaghetti and zucini(don't know how to spell that) with an italian garlic herb marinara sauce...(i tried to make it sound fancier than it actually was)

the day passed pretty quick and i can't really remember doing anything at all that day. we pretty much just sat around and made fun of each other for a while like we usually do

the following day i had my weekly one day of work...i had a pretty good shift (money wise) i mean it wasn't a blow out but it was a good 100 bucks. my feet however we're just not having it and decided to give up on me half way in...so for the rest of my night my feet were pretty much on fire...that night at work Amanda was in hxc pain from her period so i did go out of my way to get that slut some chocolate cause i knew it would cheer her up...

after work, we grabbed a pre-party beer at sharkey's...pino ronald soundra amanda and I had amber and guinness, the girls left to go to Tati's house and the guys continued to pino's house for some pre-party beers, we had a couple of coors lites and sang songs that warmed our hearts while ronald played guitar. we got to Tati's house which was a beautiful, met up with bridgette...and did what we do best...converse of the world and all its worries...

this morning we had breakfast at a diner in downtown called "jimmy's" saturday/sunday breakfast with the "quantum" girls (the nickname for everyone who lives in amanda's place) is always nice

school starts soooon, on tuesday to be exact..and im gonna have 2 full days of school and hopefully alot more shift at work from now on, because i've done everythign but suck dick to get more hours at work....

tonight's gilbert lacayo's birthday, so we might go get wasted somewhere..im sure i'll have a cool story or two to tell you about it later

i want to end this with a quote

"You guys are the most productive alcoholics I know" (refering to me n ronald)

september 30th...the countdown begins, depression hits....hits hard

I was raised a little different than most people around me. I lost my mother at an early age, and then my grandmother and single gaurdian a few years after. i was just about orphaned, then pretty much met my father at age 8.

I was raised in a weird household, with a nonchalant father, and an evil step mother. I didn't have many friends at school because i was the nerd, the loner nerd, who listened to weird music.

but i did find someone to confide in, In high school i found one kid that was just as awkward as me, one who could probably beat me in the length of time gone without showering, and one who could definately beat me in their obscure taste of depressing music. The one person that i could never thank enough for introducing me to bright eyes and the power of words in song. The one person that loved art and hated money as much as me. The kid that wore clothes because they were comfortable and not because it was fashionable, the kid that had no shame making a fool of himself in a crowd of people just to make a few of them smile. The one person that i could have a conversation with without saying a word, the one person that always knew what was better for me but let me make my mistakes anyways, to make sure i learned my lesson. The one person that i could be completely open with and not feel weird in any way. i found a best friend.

Someone who helped me learn about life and stood by my side through all my fuck ups and my glorys. the person that would stop at nothing to make sure i KEEP MOVING FOWARD, and make sure i never settled for mediocrity. The reason my art has become what it is today. My Muse

and in less than 20 days, it will all change.

In 20 days my inspiration will be in Boston, Massachutes

the emotions running through my the last few days have been incredible....

i feel anger, love, jealousy, sadness, joy

I Love the fact that you'r becoming the man i want you to be, and not holding back. taking risk, and exploring the world

I Hate the fact that you're leaving to start your life and im stuck in the same old dump i've awakened to the last 20 years of life (minus that one we spent in tallahassee)

I'm Jealous that Boston is going to hold one of the gretest artist if not the greatest artist i've ever met in its walls, and chances are it will go unappreciated

I'm sad that i'm losing my Best Friend, i have a handful of friends, but none of them understand me like you do (yesterday i sat in a room with friends who spoke of money higher than they spoke of art, and i almost got sick to my stomach, i don't want to be stuck in this)

i'm happy because i know it's only a matter of time before you achiever all you've dreamed of...all we've dreamed of

it almost seems:

surreal

that you'll be gone from this town, but every so often it hits me, and it hits me hard. and nothing i can do erases it from my mind. i know it's greedy of me but i wish i could keep you around for just a bit longer, or atleast leave this place once again with you. i feel like we've learned so much from each other and i'm not quite done learning

once your gone i'll have my friends, but i have a feeling things with slowly fall apart, as much as all of our friends hate you and look down on your opinion i believe your the glue that keeps everything together, the balance that we need around here. and once thats gone i'm not sure how things will turn out. and i have a bad feeling about it all.

none the less:

I have full faith in you, and i think your making the right decision. I think this is a genuwine step in the right direction for you. and even though i know deep down your scared shitless and you think you might just end up fucking up and throwing away everything you had, living on the streets with nothing but a guitar. i have faith in you more than i do in myself, my family and god himself. the idea that you will become something is nothing but sure to me. My advice is probably the same anyone else will tell you, don't stop. you can't fail if you never stop trying. if you ever catch yourself sitting in your room, or studio and you say to yourself "man i have nothing to do".....well then fuck you, don't waste a fucking second. i'll tell you what most men gtell the women who's virginity's they take "life is short, why not just do it" don't spend a second not making something. make goals for yourself, and achieve those goals by certain dates, and fucking punish yourself if you don't. dont be a slacker. i know it's easy to stay in bed all day, but why not wake up 4 or 5 hours earlier and go out into the world and make something out of yourself.

but then again, what do i know...

i want to end this with a video everyone should watch:




"We always thought we'd look back on our tears and laugh, but we never thought we'd look back on our laughter and cry.”
-Unknown.

“Friends are forever, you might lose them but you'll never forget them.”
-Unknown

NO MATTER HOW DEEP I GET INTO ART, I WILL NEVER DO IT FOR THE MONEY. ATLEAST I REALLY REALLY HOPE I DON'T END UP DOING IT FOR THE MONEY


MONEY RUINS ART


ART RUINS MONEY

My semester of school just ended, and i got an A on all 5 of my final exams, now all i'm waiting for are the complete final grades, if i get straight A's im buying myself a 6 pack of guinness as a gift

I did finally get 2 shifts at work this week (i really only had 1, but ronald gave me his saturday because i needed it so bad) truth is i never learn, no matter how many money problems i stumble across i never learn how to avoid them, and i keep doing the same mistakes...i guess that makes me insane

so this entire week is my mini vacation till i go back to school next quarter, i have a pretty sexy schedule actually...i have class tue and thursday only...sweeeet. the only problem is i'll be filming ALOT this semster so my weekends are pretty much gone to shit....BUT HEY IT'S WHAT I LOVE...although i know what to expect...i expect to be ALOT of BAD student film sets, unorganized, annoying, long film sets...hopefully we can have a director or two thrown in there that will actually take it seriously :/...i'll cross my fingers

i bought the new 'brand new' vinyl..its called 'daisy'...its so much more different than all the past brand new albums its ridiculous. I feels like a completely different band than the guys who did 'jude law' back in the day. but i guess the band needs to evolve as musicians and this is the road they have taken. they sound very...different..not sure how to label it....the record is nice though, i just need to get use to this new sound...i though sowing season was a crazy jump from the last and i was still trying to get used to that album...and now they through this at me O.O jesus jesse make up your mind

p.s
dear journal i have met a girl that makes my heart flutter, her name is Amanda, and she's a canadian indian from ohio.

we've been together for a while but never put a title on it
we kind of did yesterday though.
sitting on the beach at night after shopping for records and looking at galleries filled with art, i knew this was someone special
we decided to make up our own anniverary as well.....we decided on september 4th

I had an unforgettable weekend, it was pretty much a vacation from life, one in which you don't even need to leave your city to experience it

friday i worked at the fabulous bubba gump shrimp company for the first time in 3 weeks, i was a little rusty at first but it was nice going back in to

work, truth is i really enjoy my job. of all the jobs i've had in the past this is the first one were i really interact with all types of people all

day, it's nice cuz i pretty much get paid to goof off and make tables laugh as i serve them food :)

Amanda and i both got cut from work early, which was nice because it gave us 3-4 hours to hangout before everyone else got off work and we met up to do

what we usually do, drink ourselves stupid. we took a stroll through bayside and found a beautiful mini art gallery that we spent some time by. we

stared at pieces of art and broke them down for a while. took a walk around downtown with a non-chalant attitude of were we ended up

afterwards when the crew left from work we met up at Pino's for some GUINNESS/CORONA and a whole lot of checker burgers ^_^, we sat down discussing the

frailty of life till about 6 in the morning.

the next day was just as perfect but a little better since i didnt have to work.

i don't recall the morning or even afternoon very much but i do remember Amanda taking me to this fancy pizza place, cuz i was craving pizza pretty

bad. it was called Stevie's pizza and they have slices the size of YOUR FUCKING HEAD with toppings that match the himalaya mountains

after we met up for the greatest "getty" in a while

all the coolest people i know met up at Bridgette's house, where we had a HUGE debate about art <3 (i love those)

me and Becca got to Bond alot that night because we took a drive alone to go pick up some cigarettes for ronald.

i remember getting back to the apartment and finding some DIRTYDANCING going on, the rest of the night pretty much becomes a blur after that. but we

played guitar and sang songs, we talked about life, and in the end every single person there was throwing up their life. it was amazing.

waking up the next night however and going straight to work...a little less amazing...hangover city


overall i have some advice,

go out there and live your life


sincerely,
Eddy Moon
hangover city, usa

My day started pretty sad

6:30am, my alarm goes off...and i must admit i'm not the bigest morning person. i pretty much despise the thought of waking up before you get your 8 full hours of sleep

so i get up and for some reason the world just looks gray, it's one of those days that on the drive to school (all 25 minutes of it) i can't decide on a song to listen to, i hit "next" on my zune for 25 minutes not once finding a song that doesn't depress me more than i already am.

park in school and a barrage of angry thoughts hit me....why am i broke, how will i survive the next few weeks, how will ever pay off my student loans, why am i still in school, why am i not making movies yet, important ones atleast, why do i need to be awake so early, why is my family so fucked up, why do i smell like i havnet showered in days (that ones all my fault)

as the day progressed i did begin to smile more, thanks to alex and mario who helped me feel better even though both of them were also on a "FUCK LIFE TIP" (thats alex lingo for being pissy all day)

afterschool i passed by my job to pick up my schedule...i work 1 day out of 7....i was so mad...i felt so uncomfortable. i just felt unloved for some reason...

thank god it was paycheck day though, cuz i needed that MONEY bad


i deposited the check in the bank and listening to happy sublime songs the entire way home (through an hour of traffic)...i fooled around on photoshop for a while and that really cheered me up

i posted a good amount of pictures on facebook afterwards, and now my day is over...tomm gotta do it all over again just a bit more hectic...sadly